Tainted (I Need Help)
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: Harry is a mess post battle of Hogwarts. When his friends fail to get through to him, can an unlikely person help him?


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.**

 **Challenges at the bottom.**

 **Word Count - 740**

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 **Tainted (I Need Help)**

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The blood wouldn't come off. He scrubbed and he scrubbed, but his hands remained red, and his soul remained tainted and it just wouldn't come off no matter how hard he tried.

His temper, so close to the surface these days, would spike at the oddest moments and he couldn't control it.

He'd smashed all the mirrors in Grimmauld Place during one of his tempers, the destruction wide spread through the house. Their frames were all that was left, splintered wood a stark reminder that he couldn't stand the sight of himself.

Another had brought half of a connecting wall down, creating a pile of rubble that he hadn't bothered to move.

Ron and Hermione, and even Molly had tried to reason with him. They'd tried to convince him to leave the house. They'd suggested he see a mind healer or a therapist.

He had no wish to do any of that.

Going out meant people staring, and whispering, and begging for autographs. Seeing a therapist meant talking about things he didn't even want to think about.

Instead he locked himself away, drawing the wards of the house even deeper, almost wrapping them around himself. He didn't want to deal with people. Not even the people he knew loved him.

He wanted to stay, in his mess of a house, with his firewhisky and his self pity, and he wanted to cease to exist.

…

Except… the people who loved him weren't satisfied with that.

…

"You're a mess."

Harry blinked blearily, the light in the room assaulting his eyes and making his head pound even worse.

Bill Weasley stood above him, looking around the room with a sorrowful look on his scarred face.

"What are you - how did you get in here?" Harry asked, his voice rough both from his hangover and lack of use.

"I'm a cursebreaker," Bill replied flatly, using the same tone as someone saying the word 'idiot.' "Get up, get a shower, I'll make breakfast."

"I don't want -"

"I don't particularly care what you want. It's what you need."

He left the room, leaving Harry to throw an arm over his eyes as he let out a groan. He didn't want to deal with this.

He didn't want breakfast. He didn't even want to shower.

He wanted a drink.

…

"You know why I'm here," Bill said, when Harry finally dragged himself into the kitchen. There were two full english breakfasts on the table under mild heating spells.

Pouring coffee, Harry sat down, ignoring the food. "You're here to tell me that it wasn't my fault, I shouldn't be punishing myself, and that what I'm doing isn't healthy. Right?"

Bill snorted. "Actually I'm here to tell you to get your shit together."

Green eyes widened.

"I did what the world wanted me to do," Harry snapped. "What am I supposed to do? Carry on being the saviour, the hero, the Ministry's poster boy? I'm done, why can't people just let me be a story in the archives."

Bill softened. "We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? If you want to mope and sulk and pretend that you're okay when you're really just as messed up as the rest of us, then fine. But do it because it's what you actually want, not because you don't know how else to deal with life."

"When did you get so smart?" Harry huffed as he picked up his forked and stabbed it into the sausage.

"When I got mauled by a werewolf and thought my life was over."

Harry blinked. "Good point."

Bill chuckled.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, Harry's stomach protesting every bite he took.

"I don't… I don't know what I'm doing," Harry admitted, pushing the plate away when a particularly strong wave of nausea made him want to gag. "I never expected to survive. And… I can't deal with everything. My head is a mess. It hurts."

"Yes, the past can hurt," Bill agreed quietly. "But the way I see it, you can run from it, or you can learn from it."

Harry didn't realise he was crying until he felt the droplets on his hand. He ran a hand through his hair, and then, with a sob that he didn't even try to suppress, he closed his eyes. "I need help."

A moment of silence, and then hands on his shoulders.

"That's okay."

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 **Written for;**

 **The Brand's War** \- Hulk - Smash / Destruction / Smart / Destroying something / Green

 **Character Appreciation** \- 2. Bill Weasley

 **Disney** \- C6. "Yes, the past can hurt but the way I see it, you can run from it, or learn from it."

 **Angel's Game Room** \- Mario - Harry / Grimmauld Place / Red

 **Showtime** \- 27. Crying

 **Geek Pride, Stand 2** \- Doctor Who - "We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"

 **Geek Pride, Stand 4** \- Signed Poster - Autograph / Frame / Wall

 **Cooking Corner** \- Milk - Getting/Making breakfast

 **Insane House** \- 659 - "What am I supposed to do?"


End file.
